Things I Learned from watching The Great Pumpkin

Every year around Halloween I watch The Great Pumpkin.  It's my favorite thing about Halloween.  Not only has it remained funny after all these years, but it offers some valuable nuggets of wisdom.  I've decided this year to compile a list of things I have learned from watching.

1. "Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker."
2. Signed documents are only valid when notarized.
3. There are three things to never discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.
4. A person should always choose a costume in direct contrast to his/her personality.
5. If you cut too many holes in your ghost costume you are likely to get rocks instead of candy.
6. Dogs have vivid imaginations, and an oddly profound sense of history.
7. Fury of a woman scorned is nothing compared to the fury of a woman robbed of tricks or treats.
8. Hopeless optimists, like Linus, never get the girl.

That's quite a lot of life lessons from a 30 minute children's program.  Hopefully you will take these lessons to heart as I have.