My Taylor Swift Parody - "32"

As my birthday passed last week and I aged another year, I realized one thing: I'm getting old.  Luckily for me, and you of course, writing has no age limitations.  So I put my writing skills to the test to offer up a fun, little jab at my aging self.  And I thought what better way to do it than through the guise of Taylor Swift song.  Her song, "22", is fairly popular, and seeing as I just turned 32, I thought it was the perfect fit.  So here is my Taylor Swift parody song, "32".

It feels like a perfect night to pretend I’m young again

And stay out all night, uh uh, uh uh

It feels like a perfect night to relive my 20s

And search for my true love, uh uh, uh uh

Yeah

We’re balding, old, and fat, and out of place

It’s comical and memorable

Oh yeah

Tonight’s the night we realize we’re too old for this

It’s time

Oh oh!

I don’t know about you

But I’m feeling 32

Everything will be alright

If I can just make it through

You don’t know about me

Nor do you want to

Everything will be alright

If I just stop dancing cuz I’m

32, ooh ooh

32 ooh ooh

It seems like one of those nights

This place is too loud

Too many young kids uh uh, uh uh (who are those old guys anyway?)

It seems like one of those nights

We go home early and end up achy

What were we thinking?!

Yeah,

We’re sad, pathetic, old, and balding in the best way

It’s radical and memorable

Oh yeah

Tonight’s the night when we forget about the pipe dreams

It’s time

Oh oh!

I don’t know about you

But I’m feeling 32

Everything will be alright

If I can just make it through

You don’t know about me

Nor do you want to

Everything will be alright

If I just stop dancing cuz I’m

32, ooh ooh

32 ooh ooh

I don’t know about you

32, ooh ooh

32 ooh ooh

It feels like one of those nights

What was I thinking?

It feels like one of those nights

Wish I was sleeping

It feels like one of those nights

I feel exhausted

I gotta sleep now

I gotta sleep now

Ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, yeeeeah, hey

I don’t know about you

But I’m feeling 32

Everything will be alright

If I can just make it through

You don’t know about me

Nor do you want to

Everything will be alright

If I just stop dancing cuz I’m

32, ooh ooh

32 ooh ooh

32, ooh ooh, yeah, yeah

32 ooh ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

It feels like one of those nights

What was I thinking?

It feels like one of those nights

Wish I was sleeping

It feels like one of those nights

I feel exhausted

I gotta sleep now

I gotta sleep now


Here is the original song and video so you can follow along and compare if you'd like.

Let me know what you all think, and, maybe if there's enough positive response I'll consider making my own music video.

I really just wanted to write today

I've had the urge to write all day today, but I haven't been able to settle on an idea.  Nor have I really had the time to flesh anything out.  So here are my thoughts from the day.

First, today is the 25th anniversary of Kirk Gibson's home run in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series.  It is probably one of the most famous home runs of all time.  ESPN.com had some really good articles about it.  One of them interviewed many of the people involved with the game, on both teams.  It was a really great look at everything that went on that night.  The other article was a comedic piece about the search for the home run ball, which apparently has gone missing.  This story utilized many baseball movie references in a film noir style that I thought was really clever and fun to read.  I aspire to write things like that.

Another thought that crossed my mind today was how much I enjoy the music of TLC.  For some reason their music really resonates with me.  I love the messages in their songs and the music is good too.  I'd like to flesh this idea out more in a future post.

Finally, I've started watching reruns of Full House lately.  There's something oddly intoxicating about that show.  I'm still trying to figure out what it is.  I'll just have to keep watching until I do.  Don't judge me.

And just for good measure, here's a haiku to finish things off:

Singing in my car
"Baby we were born to run"
Busting out The Boss!

The Greatest Sporting Event I Ever Attended

Five years ago today I attended my greatest sporting event of all time.  Now, I've been to a Final Four, a World Series, a BCS National Championship Game, an All Star Game, and various other regular season and playoff games for all major sports.  But this game was by far the best and the most memorable.

It was Game 4 of the 2008 NLCS, Phillies versus Dodgers.  I went out to LA to go to the game with my dad.  We went to Game 3 the night before as well.  That game didn't go so well for the Phillies.  But we had a 2-1 series lead and could put the clamps down with a win in Game 4.  The game started off great.  The Phillies put up two quick runs in the first inning, silencing the sold out Dodger Stadium crowd.  Unfortunately, the Dodgers responded with a run of their own in the bottom of the inning.  The middle innings saw both teams trade some runs, and going into the sixth inning the game was tied at 3.  In the bottom of the sixth, Casey Blake hit a leadoff home run for the Dodgers to put them up 4-3.  The place was going crazy and suddenly I felt really out of place wearing red.  The Dodgers would put up another run in the inning to take a 5-3 lead into the seventh.  Things were not looking good for my Phillies.  The seventh inning was uneventful which brought us to the top of the eighth, the inning that changed everything.

Ryan Howard lead off the inning with a single off a tough left-handed pitcher in Hung-Chih Kuo.  We had some life now.  The Dodgers made a pitching change and brought in Corey Wade.  He got Pat Burrell to pop out for the first out.  Then Shane Victorino stepped up to the plate.  He lined the first pitch he saw over the fence into the right field bullpen to tie the game!  My dad and I were going nuts, as were the other random Phillies fans spread throughout the stadium.  On a side note, Corey Wade was the answer to a trivia question on a Phillies broadcast last year.  I, of course, remembered who gave up the home run to Victorino, but the Phils announcers did not.  I was proud of myself.  Now back to the game.  With the game now tied, Wade recorded the second out and then gave up a single to Carlos Ruiz.  The Dodgers decided to make another pitching change and bring in their closer, Jonathan Broxton.  The Phillies countered by sending in Matt Stairs to pinch hit.  Stairs worked a 3-1 count and then did this:




I immediately stood up and said, "Oh god!"  I knew as soon as he hit it that it was out.  I've been to a lot of games at Dodger Stadium and that might be the furthest ball I've seen hit there.  The stadium was dead quiet afterwards as Dodger fans sat in stunned silence.  But my dad and I were cheering loudly.  That was the single greatest sports moment I have ever witnessed live.  I still remember it vividly to this day.  The Phillies would go on to win the game, win the series and advance to the World Series, where they would defeat the Rays in five games.  None of that might have happened without the heroics of Matt Stairs.  Even he remembers it fondly as he tweeted earlier today, "5 years ago today is when I started drinking free in Philly.  Love homeruns!!!!"  I love it!

And that is my greatest sporting event.  I remember it like yesterday and always will.  Hopefully the Phillies will give me some more memorable moments in the future.

The Weird Things that Make Me Laugh

Today at lunch I was sitting at a table talking to some coworkers and I had my lunchbox on the table.  This is one of those soft, collapsible lunchboxes.  I started moving the lid up and down for no reason in particular and as I looked at it, I saw a mouth.  In my head I could hear my lunchbox talking and I quietly started laughing to myself.  I thought it would be funny to make a video of a talking lunchbox.  When I finally made it back to my office after a few meetings and had a chance to get back to this idea, it had evolved in my head to a singing lunchbox.  It then became a matter of finding the right song to have the lunchbox sing as its introduction.  I settled on "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child.  The video had the song playing in the background as the lunchbox appeared to be singing along.  I thought it was fairly funny.  On the drive home, however, I thought it might be funnier to have the lunchbox appear to be singing along.  So I started thinking about what voice the lunchbox might have.  I envision a gravely, gruff voice.  Then, the more songs I heard on the way home, the more I thought of potential songs for the lunchbox to sing.  So now I have this idea for this singing lunchbox series and already have a running list of songs for it to perform.  And the whole time I'm thinking of this I'm just cracking myself up.  I don't really know why I think it's so funny, but I do, and I'm so excited to film the next episode.  I encourage all of you to give into your own weirdness and don't be afraid to show off the strange things that make you laugh.

Things I Think About on the Drive Home from Work

I like to keep myself entertained on the drive home from work.  Today the Ice Cube song "It was a Good Day" came on.  As I was singing along I started thinking that there is a generation of kids who would probably be very confused by a few of the lines in the song.  For instance, "The Lakers beat the Supersonics."  I bet they're wondering who the Supersonics are.  I guess it hasn't been that long since they existed, but still, I wonder how many kids are aware of their previous existence.  The other line that I thought might be puzzling is, "My pager's still blowing up."  What's a pager?  Seriously, these kids have grown up in a world where cell phones do everything.  Pagers must seem like the stupidest invention ever.  I bet they wouldn't even know what to do with one.  Although, in all seriousness, any kids who are listening to this song are probably surprised that Ice Cube is a rapper.  They most likely know him as the police captain from the 21 Jump Street movie, which they are probably unaware is a remake of a television show.  Kids these days.  Well, that's just a small glimpse into my head during a typical drive home.  Enjoy a classic Ice Cube video now.

Get your act together, Federal Government!

Ok, I get that the government has differences of opinion when it comes to the budget.  I don't exactly know all the details, but I can appreciate the debate.  What I don't get is this whole, "I'm taking my ball and going home" attitude.  An entire government shutdown, really?  Is that the only solution they could come up with?  And why exactly does the whole government have to shut down to resolve this issue?  Isn't this just Congress' issue?  What really gets me is that all the National Parks are now closed because of the shut down.  Why the hell do the National Parks have to be shut down because Congress is acting like a bunch of babies?!  We are now depriving people of seeing the great beauty and history of our country.  How many field trips were planned to National Parks that had to be cancelled?  How many family vacations have been ruined because they can't fulfill their American dream?  How many foreign tourists came all the way over here only to be disappointed, thus going back home to further bad mouth America?  This isn't good.  This may have been the only chance for some people to see one of the parks.  And now they can't because the government can't work out their differences.  And in an ironic twist, Tuesday, the first day of the shutdown, marked the 123rd anniversary of Yosemite National Park.  Google even celebrated the anniversary on their homepage.  But nobody could actually go to the park and celebrate the milestone.  What a joke.  I have a trip planned to the Grand Canyon next month, so all I can say is, "Get your act together, Federal Government!"

Disney Costume Ideas

With the calendar turning to October it's time to start thinking about one of my favorite holidays: Halloween!  And Halloween means costumes.  A couple years ago I wrote a post about obscure costume ideas.  This year I'm focusing my attention on Disney costume ideas.  And anyone who knows me knows they will be pretty obscure.  These are costumes inspired by Disney characters and movies.  I present them in no particular order, just a list of ideas that I think would be fun.

Robin Hood disguised as a Stork
This one is tricky because it's like two costumes in one.  First you have to dress up like Robin Hood, a fox, and then don his stork disguise from the archery tournament scene.

Darkwing Duck
"I am the terror that flaps in the night.  I am the surprise you find in your cereal box!  I am Darkwing Duck!"  Seriously awesome!

Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers
This would be more of a group costume, but another fun throwback to Disney afternoons.

Tale Spin
Another group costume idea from Disney afternoons. Seriously, I miss these shows!

Steamboat Willie
Complete with ship's wheel and everything.  Gotta love the old school.

I'm sure there are many other great Disney costume ideas, but these are my favorites.  I like them mostly because they remind me of my childhood and bring back happy memories.  Plus, I think they would get the best reactions from other people because they are a bit random.  But which ones do you like?  What other ideas do you have?