My Love for the Jurassic Park Franchise

When I was a kid I had a love for all things dinosaur.  I had countless dinosaur books, watched any show containing dinosaurs (Denver the Last Dinosaur was my favorite), and loved going to museums to see fossils.  As an adult, pretty much nothing has changed.  I still love anything and everything dinosaur-related.  And that is why I am super excited for Jurassic World to come to theaters next year.

When the first Jurassic Park movie came out in 1993 I was 11.  I knew it wasn't a friendly dinosaur movie like many of the cartoons and TV shows I was used to, but it still had dinosaurs so I was sold.  Unfortunately, my parents didn't want me to see it because of the violence.  That didn't stop me, though.  I snuck into the theater to see it.  I actually had to sneak in twice because the first time I tried to sneak into a sold out show and they were checking ticket stubs inside.  But when I finally saw it, I was in love.  The first time the dinosaurs appear on screen is awe inspiring and magical.  This was the first time anybody had seen such realistic looking dinosaurs on screen.  Not to mention the suspense created in the T-Rex and kitchen scenes.  I was instantly hooked for life.

The Lost World was released four years later, and I didn't have to sneak into this one.  I went opening weekend, eager to see the continuation of the Jurassic Park saga.  While not nearly as good as the original it was still an entertaining film, and the dinosaurs still look amazing.  If not for the scenes in San Diego at the end, it would be even better.

In the summer of 2000 I decided to pursue a part time job at Universal Studios.  When I was hired they asked me what ride I wanted to work at.  I immediately said Jurassic Park.  It was like a dream come true.  I could ride the ride whenever I wanted, I got to dress like Dr. Grant, and I got to talk about dinosaurs all day long.  Most people just wanted to know where the T-Rex was.  But I did pretend that I had a pet dinosaur named Charlie who lived in the bushes by the unload station.  If anybody asked to stay on to ride again I told them they could if they got Charlie to come out.  It did get a little annoying having to hear the narration on the video monitors in the line queue all day long, but hearing the theme music never got old.  It is one of the best themes in movie history, and I never tire of hearing it.  Also, for the rest of my life I can tell people I worked at Jurassic Park.

While working at Universal the first instances of promotion for Jurassic Park III started showing up.  There were teaser posters plastered throughout the park.  Again, I was really excited for another Jurassic Park movie!  And while walking the backlot one day I swear I walked by a soundstage where they were filming the movie.  I wasn't able to confirm it, but I believe it to this day.  The following summer I was first in line again to see the movie.  In fact, a couple months before the movie, my friend and I paid for another movie just so we could see the trailer for Jurassic Park III.  Remember, this was before you could find everything on the Internet.  But while the movie itself wasn't nearly as good as the first two, I wasn't disappointed.  This one had pterodactyls!  And it was still exciting and fun.

I know the science isn't right with these movies, but that doesn't bother me.  They're still about dinosaurs.  They still make me feel like a little kid again when I was reading my books and looking at fossils in museums.  I still watch them whenever they are on TV and still tense up at the exciting parts even though I know what is going to happen.

So when it was announced that a fourth movie was actually going to happen I was excited.  I want to see what happens as Ingen keeps trying to open the park.  I know something will go terribly wrong, but since it involves dinosaurs, I'm all for it.  Whether they make or movie about it or not, I will still dream about it, so this just makes it easier for me.  When the trailer was released earlier this week, I was more excited for that than the Star Wars trailer.  While Star Wars will always be my favorite, there is so much mythology and nostalgia surrounding that franchise that part of me is afraid they will screw it up.  I was content knowing there would never be another Star Wars movie, but I always wished for more Jurassic Park movies.  They can't screw those up.  They are what they are, and what they are is awesome!  And now I get another one and it looks amazing!  I can't wait for June!

Sweet November!

Every year on November 1 my best friend and I text each other, "Sweet November!"  It is the most inside of all inside jokes I have with anybody.  What does it mean?  Nothing.  Why do we do it?  Because it's Sweet November!  How did it start?  Well, it started because of a bad Keanu Reeves movie named, you guessed it, Sweet November.  We liked the title so much that it instantly turned into a joke.  And 13 years later, the joke is still going.  And it still makes me laugh.  I've tried to explain it to other people, but they just don't get it.  Frankly, neither do I sometimes, and that's why I love it.  It's quirky things like this which pretty much define our friendship, and I felt like it was something fun to share today.  Feel free to share any fun inside jokes you have with your friends as well.

Stranded on a Deserted Island: 5 Albums to Take

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what five albums would you want with you to listen to?  I started thinking about this topic a while back, and I still don't know if I'm satisfied with my answers.  But I'm rolling with it anyway.  I'm not sure what got me thinking about this, but I did.  And as I was thinking about it, I decided to put some restrictions on the answers to really make it difficult and make you think.  So the major restriction is that you cannot select compilation albums.  This means no greatest hits collections, no best of genre albums, no Now! discs.  And why only five, you may ask?  Because if I said ten, that would make it easier.  Five really makes you think about what you would want to listen to.

While I was thinking about my five albums, I tried to pick a variety of genres.  I like everything from hip hop to doo wop to R&B to Motown to grunge.  How would I ever pick albums to represent everything I liked?  The answer is I can't.  So I tried to pick albums that I knew I would enjoy the entirety of, while also picking a variety of genres.  In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm still second guessing my picks.  I suppose I should just get it in writing before I take another two months to ponder my answer.  So, here they are, my five albums.

Outkast - Aquemini

This was probably the easiest choice on my list.  Those of you who know me know I'm a huge Outkast fan, so the question really was not if I would choose an Outkast album, but which Outkast album would I choose.  The more I've listened to Outkast recently, the more I realize that Aquemini is their best album.  Although, you really can't go wrong with any Outkast album, but I'm choosing this one because I think it is the most solid top to bottom.

Prince - Purple Rain

Any album with Purple Rain, the song, should get consideration for inclusion.  It's almost heavenly.  The rest of the album is pretty darn good too.  Prince is an amazing musician and this is one of his best albums.  Plus it's a good combination of R&B, funk, and pop.  A nice blend while being stuck on an island.

MC Hammer - Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em

Yea, I went there.  I grew up wearing this tape out.  That's right, I had this album on cassette tape.  And I knew every word to every song.  I probably still do.  Plus, I can get some exercise while dancing along to songs on this album.  It's that good.

Beach Boys - Pet Sounds

I almost didn't include this album, but I didn't think it would be appropriate to be stuck on a deserted island and not have any Beach Boys music to listen to.  While I would prefer to have an album with Surfer Girl or Good Vibrations on it, this is their best top to bottom.  Plus it's a nice change of pace from what I have so far.

The fifth album is where it got really tricky.  Did I look for a good doo wop album?  Should I choose a Motown album?  Would another hip hop album be overkill?  So many questions.  But let's break it down.  When looking for a doo wop or Motown album I realized that those groups put out so many albums that most of them contained songs I was unfamiliar with and only one or two hits.  This is where the no compilation rule makes things tough.  So I'm back to picking albums that I enjoy from the first track to the last track.  I considered quite a few different albums, such as Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle, Warren G's Regulate, Boyz II Men's II, No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom, and a number of Mariah Carey albums.  As I'm typing this, I'm still having trouble deciding.  But this is what I ultimately settled on.

TLC - CrazySexyCool

Why did I decide on TLC?  Well, I thought it represented a good blend of upbeat and slow songs, plus it's just a really good album.  I thought Snoop or Warren G would have been hip hop overkill, and didn't think I would consistently want to listen to No Doubt, even though the album is good.  So it boiled down to Boyz II Men, Mariah Carey, or TLC.  Boyz II Men was a little too slow overall and Mariah is, well, Mariah, and I couldn't decide on one of her albums.  So I looked closer at TLC and decided this would be an excellent choice.

So that's my list.  I welcome any comments you may have and invite you to try to come up with your own list.

Life Lessons From Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

I was flipping through the channels tonight and stumbled across Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.  I absolutely love this movie!  It is full of wonderful, positive messages.  Now, I know what you're thinking, that I only like this movie because Natalie Portman is in it.  But that just adds to my love!  Every time I watch this movie I feel good and I feel inspired.  But that feeling rarely lasts, so I'm hoping that maybe if I write about the lessons learned from the movie, I will actually listen.

"Your life is an occasion.  Rise to it."
There is perhaps no greater message in this movie than this.  If we all just listened to this and rose to the occasion imagine how wonderful the world would be.  Imagine how great we would feel!  I keep waiting for my moment to come, but perhaps my moment is here and I just need to rise to the occasion and grab it.  I need to stop making excuses and just go for it.  And I'm sure many of you could use the same advice.

"37 seconds well used is a lifetime."
Why waste any time we have on this planet?  Use every last second to the best of our ability.  I know that's easier said than done, but even time spent deep in thought is time well spent.  Think about that.


Don't be a "just guy"
You know the type of person I'm talking about.  The one who thinks those are 'just' clouds, or that is 'just' a room full of chairs.  They can't see past what something actually is to see what could be there.  I actually think I do a pretty good job of avoiding this, but I feel like too many people around me try to turn me into a 'just guy'.  Try to imagine how much more fun the world could be if you looked past what 'just' is.  I don't have a clip for this, but here is the dialogue.

Molly Mahoney: i knew it. As soon as I saw that suit.

Henry Weston: Knew what?

Molly Mahoney: You're a 'just' guy.

Henry Weston: What's a 'just' guy?

Molly Mahoney: A guy just like you. Same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. It's just what it is, nothing more!

Henry Weston: Alright but, but this

[looks over his shoulder]

Henry Weston: is just a store.

Molly Mahoney: I'm sure to you... it is.

"You have to give people a chance"

This is one that I really have to work on.  Much like Eric in the movie I assume people think I'm weird and don't want to play with me.  I have a hard time making friends.  Perhaps I should take the advice from the movie and give people a chance.  It starts by saying hi.  Again, I couldn't find a clip, or a good transcript of the dialogue, but here's what I found.

Sweetheart, did you spend
the whole day at the store?

I did lots of stuff.

Like what?
  
I built a sculpture,
I got 20,000 paddles
on a paddleball...
and I figured out
how to win at solitaire
every time without cheating.
  
Eric, those are all things
you do by yourself.
  
There were...
people... around.
  
We agreed you could come
back from camp early
if you made an effort
to make some friends.
  
It's not my fault
people don't like me.
  
People love you- once they
get the chance to know you.
  
No, they don't.
They think I'm weird.
  
Because you build sculptures
by yourself.
  
Because nobody wants
to play with me.
  
Have you asked anyone
to play with you?
  
Not really.
  
Well, Eric, you have
to give people a chance.
  
I know what'll happen.
  
You don't, sweetheart.
Trust me, people are
always full of surprises.
Just...
just pick someone.
Anyone. Pick someone
you don't know,
and try to make friends with them.
See what happens.
  
I don't even know how to start.
  
Easy.
Start by saying hi.

"I'm Stuck"

This is totally how I feel right now.  I'm stuck.  But maybe I need to stop thinking about being stuck, and start thinking about how I can stun the world!

Molly Mahoney: I'm stuck!

Mr. Edward Magorium: Oh, to my floor?

Molly Mahoney: No, sir.

Mr. Edward Magorium: Then what?

Molly Mahoney: Like a person. You remember when I was a little girl and I could play Rahmaninov's Second Piano Concerto and everyone was talking about my potential?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Mhm.

Molly Mahoney: Well, I am 23 now and everyone's still talking about my potential but if you ask em to play the song I know best... I'll still play Rachmaninov's Second.

Mr. Edward Magorium: May I suggest you stun the world with Molly Mahoney's First?

"What Mahoney needed was the opportunity to prove to herself that she was something more than she believed."

I think this is true of most of us, myself especially.  I need to believe in myself more, and seek out the opportunities to show myself that I am more than I believe myself to be.  Who knows, maybe I can do something magical.

Now I have it in writing, so any time I forget about these things, feel free to remind me to go back and reread this post.  And hopefully this post can inspire you as well.

Goodbye Old Friend

Today we say goodbye to a good friend.  After 36 years of bringing thrills and smiles to the world, Colossus at Six Flags Magic Mountain is closing.  For anyone who grew up in Southern California, this is a very sad day.  Colossus was a highlight of the park for much of its existence.  When it opened in 1978 it was the tallest and fastest wooden roller coaster in the world.  And even though Magic Mountain kept building faster and taller coasters throughout the park, Colossus remained an imposing presence.  It's a huge coaster and the giant white frame with red trim still stands out among the steel behemoths that litter the park now.  Colossus was always there to greet you in the parking lot when you first arrived, beckoning you to come aboard.  As a kid, there was nothing bigger.  It truly was a Colossus.

For me, Colossus represents an even more significant memory.  It was my first roller coaster.  When I was younger I was really scared of roller coasters.  One year a friend of mine invited me to Magic Mountain for his birthday.  I went even though I didn't want to ride any of the rides.  All day long everybody was trying to convince me to go on a coaster.  Finally, I relented and agreed to try Colossus.  I've been hooked ever since!  Now I love roller coasters, and I owe it all to that first ride on the white, wooden monster.

There's just something magical about Colossus.  You get on and start heading up that first hill and all you hear is the loud clickety clak of the chain pulling you up.  It feels like it takes forever as you keep going up and up.  When you finally reach the top the train slowly inches its way over until gravity takes care of the rest and down you go.  The rest of the ride is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, as the car shakes you side to side.  It is by no means a smooth ride, but that is part of the charm.  You don't mind getting shaken around because that's what makes this ride so much fun.  It's a throwback to the roller coasters of yesterday, just on a bigger scale.  As you get to the end of the ride and you are riding the wave of humpbacks through the middle of the coaster generating lots of airtime, you can't help but smile and laugh.  It's the most wonderful feeling.

During my many trips to Magic Mountain, Colossus was always the ride that I made sure to go on, no matter how long the wait.  No matter how awesome the new coasters were, Colossus always remained my favorite.  It's nostalgic and historic and it was the staple of the park for the longest time.  When I heard the announcement that it was going to close, I was immediately filled with sadness.  I couldn't believe they would actually close such an historic ride.  I'm even more upset that I wasn't able to get out there and ride it one last time.  But for 36 years it has brought endless joy to countless numbers of riders.  So for that I say thank you, and goodbye, old friend.

The Funny Thing About Cell Phones

When cell phones first came out they were rather large, as you can see in the following picture.

Naturally, the size didn't matter that much with these first phones because it was such a novel concept that just having one was cool.  People didn't worry about carrying them around.  So few people had them anyway that having it with you all the time wasn't that important.  But as the technology improved, and demand rose, they started shrinking.

As you can see in the picture above, the phones gradually got smaller, which made carrying them around in your pocket that much easier.  In fact some flip phones were downright tiny.

The biggest selling point for many phones was how small they were.  The status symbol went from having a phone to having the smallest phone.  And then smart phones started popping up.  With the smart phone craze came touch screens and video capability.  Suddenly, small wasn't good anymore because it's hard to watch a video on a small screen.  So now, the bigger the screen the better, which means phones are getting bigger and bigger.  

I think that picture sums up our attitudes over the years better than anything else.  I find it really funny that people are back to carrying around bigger phones just so they can see pictures and videos on a bigger screen.  Personally, I don't want to carry around anything bigger than an iPhone with me.  Even that seems big at times.  But I'm really curious as to how big we might actually get with these things.  I guess only time will tell.

Similarities between Leverage and The A-Team

 

As many of you know I am a huge fan of The A-Team.  In fact, huge may be an understatement.  It is my all time favorite show.  Another of my favorite shows is Leverage.  And every time I watch Leverage, I can't help but think about how it has borrowed some story lines from The A-Team.

Clearly, the premise of both shows is very similar.  They both involve criminals who operate on both sides of the law while trying to help the little people and take down corruption.  One of the signature lines from The A-Team, "I love it when a plan comes together," is often uttered by characters on Leverage.  And there are some episodes that are very similar in nature.  Here is just a brief overview.

Both shows had episodes involving diamond smuggling.  In The A-Team they actually went to South Africa to get involved.  The Leverage team worked the case from the U.S.

Another similar episode involved boxing.  B.A. had to infiltrate an illegal boxing ring in The A-Team, while Eliot had to get in the ring to stop a corrupt fight promoter on Leverage.

Next up we have a mob wedding.  Both groups had to get involved in a mob wedding.  The A-Team had to try to stop the wedding and rescue the bride, while Leverage was trying to con the bride's mob boss father.

Both shows had an episode where a character had to pose as a homeless man as part of the con.

There was an episode of each show where the crew is stuck on a hijacked plane.

The Leverage crew went after a corrupt incumbent mayor, while The A-Team tried to prevent a corrupt incumbent sheriff from getting re-elected.

Both crews went after a corrupt car dealer.

Both shows had an episode involving the music industry and a character posing as a music producer.  In fact, The A-Team got involved with the music industry in a few episodes.

And, finally, both crews had to deal on multiple occasions with a team of their evil opposites.  The Leverage crew actually had to team up with their opposites for one episode.

I'm sure there are many more similarities, and I could go into excruciating detail comparing the two shows, but I won't.  The bottom line is that it's clear that Leverage was inspired by The A-Team, which is probably why I liked it so much.  So if you haven't seen either or both of these shows, I highly recommend them.

Some thoughts after watching The Internship

I watched The Internship for the first time last night.  I realize I'm about a year late on this, and most people have probably forgotten about this movie, but I have some thoughts.  Aside from the fact that the movie really wasn't that funny, it was filled with horrible people that just frustrated me.  When I say horrible people I mean they were rude, inconsiderate, mean, self-absorbed, and awful.  What really surprised me is that the movie was full of them.  It wasn't just one horrible person.  They kept showing up throughout the movie.  And they didn't enhance the movie.  They didn't make me root for the protagonists more because they protagonists weren't standing up to the jerks.  The message that was sent was that the world is full of horrible people and if you just keep an attitude of hopeful optimism you'll come out on top.  While I appreciate that the horrible people didn't end up winning, I didn't like that the filmmakers felt the need to fill this fictional world with so many of them.  And on top of that, I was just accepted that these people were rude and mean.  No one said anything or called them out on it.  This isn't the only movie or TV show like this either.  I'm tired of seeing the acceptance of horrible people in pop culture.  It makes it acceptable to act like that in real life.  I know there are horrible people in real life, but I want to see movies and TV shows portray a responsible reaction to them.  I feel like we glorify this behavior with the portrayals we see in entertainment.  And The Internship showed that horrible people are everywhere and they are more qualified to do the job.  Maybe I'm overreacting to a forgettable movie, but I really didn't enjoy watching these people on screen.

How Do These Songs Get Stuck in my Head?!

Over the past week I have woken up with the most random assortment of songs stuck in my head.  I'm not really sure how they got in there.  But I thought I would share with all of you the randomness that is my head.

My week started with a little bit of Kesha.  I woke up singing Tik Tok.  This was a little strange because I haven't heard this song in awhile, but I did fall asleep listening to my iPod and that song is on there, so maybe it was playing in my ear while I was sleeping.

I can't remember now what I was singing the next morning, but I remember thinking it was strange.  The following morning got a little more weird.  I woke up singing This Kiss by Faith Hill.  This one really confused me.  I don't listen to country.  I don't listen to Faith Hill.  I don't know when the last time I even heard this song.  But there it was in my head for some reason.

The next two mornings are when the train really goes off the tracks though.  After my Faith Hill morning, I awoke the next day singing the song from the dance scene in the movie Twins.  That's right, the whole scene, song and all, was playing in my head.  I can't find a clip of the scene online, but here is the song.

And then this morning, I awoke singing the Willy Wonka song for some strange reason.

Again, I don't know where these songs came from.  I haven't seen these movies in forever.  I didn't see a set of twins or eat Willy Wonka candy.  This has truly been a strange week of wake up songs.

The Ultimate Summer Movie Playlist

I was watching The Sandlot the other night and I couldn't help thinking that it is quite possibly the perfect summer movie.  Then I thought it would be fun to create the Ultimate Summer Movie Playlist, which is actually a lot harder than it sounds.  But I tried to pick five movies that I think perfectly encapsulate the summer season in one way or another.

First, of course, is the movie that got me started on this path, The Sandlot.  Is there another movie that screams summer like this one?  I don't think so.  For those who haven't seen it, what rock have you been living under for 20 years?!  The movie follows a group of kids as they spend a summer playing baseball, swimming at the local pool, and getting into a little bit of trouble.  It is absolutely wonderful!  And it gave us everyone's favorite line, "You're killing me, smalls!"

Next up is Jaws.  I usually watch Jaws at least once at the beginning of every summer. I don't really know why because it isn't exactly a topic that you want to think about for the summer, but for me, it just wouldn't feel like summer without watching Jaws.  It was the first real summer blockbuster, it takes place during summer, there's suspense, tension, and laughter, and it has some of the most memorable scenes in movie history.

Next up is National Lampoon's Vacation.  I mean, c'mon, it's about a summer vacation.  And who hasn't been able to relate to the Griswold's cross country trek to visit Wally World?  I know I can.  Everyone who has ever taken a road trip with their family knows how awful it is at the time, but how wonderful it was when you look back on it.  And that's what Vacation reminds you of.

The next movie on my playlist is Independence Day.  For Americans, nothing says summer more than the Fourth of July, and aliens.  And this movie has both.  I know the special effects look dated now, but I don't know anybody who can watch this speech and not get chills.

And finally, I'm going with another baseball movie, Bull Durham.  Summer means baseball, and while there are a lot of baseball movies I could have picked from, I chose Bull Durham because, well, it just feels like summer.  Although, Field of Dreams is the perfect Father's Day movie, and Major League is another great baseball movie, Bull Durham shows a summer of baseball that most people don't get to see.  And I often find myself watching it throughout the summer.

So that's my list.  What would be on yours?

My Top 10 Favorite Candies

A couple months ago the topic of candy was brought up at work.  We talked about different types of candy such as the candy bar, bite size candies, fruity candy, etc.  I envisioned writing a series of posts about the best of each genre of candy.  Well, I never got around to it.  Then the candy discussion was brought up again today, so I was reminded of my post ideas.  And then I realized I haven't posted anything in almost a month.  So I have decided to condense the topic and just list my top ten favorite candies of all time.  Remember, these are just my favorites.  This is not meant to be a list of the best candies of all time.  I realize everyone has their own preference and I encourage you to share yours with me as well.  But let's get to my list.  We'll go countdown style for this one.

10. M&M's
An all time classic, M&M's are candy royalty.  I like that they come in varieties such as Peanut and Peanut Butter.  You can very rarely go wrong by serving M&M's.  The reason they only rank 10th on my list is because as much as I love them, I don't often buy them, opting instead for the other candies on this list.

9. Twix
Buying Twix is like getting two candy bars for the price of one!  Plus, they're delicious.

8. Dum-Dums
Many people lament the fact that Dum-Dums are small for lollipops, but they pack a lot of flavor.  First and foremost, any candy that has a root beer flavor is a plus in my book.  And it's a quality root beer flavor to boot.  The other flavors offered are pretty good too, so the choices you have while eating Dum-Dums helps the ranking.  Plus, I like that they are small because I don't feel so guilty for eating one.

7. 3 Musketeers
Light, fluffy, chocolatey, delicious.  3 Musketeers utilizes a wonderful blend of chocolate and nougat.  It's the easiest candy bar to eat and hard to resist.

6. Hershey Bar
Another classic.  The Hershey Bar doesn't need any frills.  It's just plain milk chocolate whipped up into a delightful bar.  It doesn't get much closer to perfection than that.  And having been to Hershey, PA, it holds a special place in my heart.  And my stomach.

5. Lemonheads
This is probably the biggest outlier on this list.  Not many people reach for the Lemonheads on the candy shelf, but I love them.  I've always loved lemon flavored things, especially candy, and it doesn't get much more lemony than these.  I used to trade my friends for Lemonheads on Halloween because most of them didn't want them.

4. Crunch Bar
On first approach chocolate and rice might not seem like a good combination, but Crunch Bar pulls it off beautifully.  A nice, crisp candy bar that is always enjoyable.

3. Kit Kat
There's something fun about Kit Kats.  Maybe it's the fact that you can break them apart and choose to share or save for later.  Or maybe it's that crunchy candy is just inherently fun.  Either way, I love Kit Kats, and the fact that they have dark and white chocolate versions makes it even better.

2. Baby Ruth

Everything in life comes back to Goonies, including candy.  I'm not gonna lie, this is part of the reason why I love Baby Ruth.

1. Reese's Pieces
Another movie inspired selection, the inclusion of Reese's Pieces in ET is what first drew me to the candy, and I have been eating them ever since.  They are my go to when it comes to candy selection.  I just absolutely love them.

So that's my list.  Once again, feel free to share your favorites as well!

The Summer of Adam - A Visit to My Past

I'm currently reading a book which takes place at Disneyland.  It's actually the fifth book in a mystery series I've been enjoying.  But this book has caused me to reflect back on an event from my past.  In the book one of the main characters is a Disneyland employee.  He is a ride operator on the Canoes attraction.  The other main character is Swiss pop star, Malaysia Hosner.  She is in the United States for the first time on a concert tour.  While she is here, she wants to visit Disneyland for the first time.

Before I go any further, let me say that I will not be giving away any details that would ruin the book for you in case you have intentions of reading it.  Now that that's out of the way, here's the skinny.  Malaysia Hosner and her sister decide to go to Disneyland while in Anaheim for her US tour.  Since she is an international pop star, however, she has to go incognito.  She dyes her hair and wears a baseball cap to cover her face.  While at Disneyland she spots Blain, a ride operator on the Canoes.  She drags her sister on the ride and hits it off with Blain.  But the connection is short lived because, well, he is at work and she is a guest of the park.  So she goes about her visit and he continues his shift.  They both continue thinking about each other, though.  After his shift, while he is walking through the park he runs into Malaysia, who is using her alias Missy, and the connection is reignited.  Ultimately, he asks her to come back to Disneyland with him so he can show her around and they start falling in love.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with me.  Well, let's take a trip back in time to the summer of 2000.  Wow, I'm getting old.  That summer I decided to take a job at Universal Studios.  I was a ride operator on Jurassic Park.  I could give you all the details about why I both liked and disliked the job, but that's not why we're here.  While reading my current book I was reminded of a specific day during my employment at Universal.  On this particular day I was working an early shift.  Sometime about mid morning a group of girls came through the line.  I was stationed at the Child Switch station, which is where parents can wait if they have a child who is too short for the ride, but they still want to go on without each parent having to wait in line.  It is also where disabled guests and those with front of the line passes enter.  And it just happens to be across from the poncho station.  This group of girls was nervous about getting wet, so they wanted to buy ponchos.  I tried to tell them that the ponchos wouldn't really help, and one of the girls, a beautiful blonde, said she tried to tell the rest of them the same thing.  We started talking while her friends bought ponchos.  She was gorgeous and had an amazing accent that I initially thought was Australian.  She informed me that she was from South Africa and was visiting the United States for the first time.  We really hit it off.  She was easy to talk to and had a fun attitude.  But alas, she and her friends went on the ride and I stayed at my station.  As much as I wanted to, I knew I would probably never see her again.  Apparently, though, I made an impact on her as well, because she came back later in the day!  I was fortunate enough to be working at the front of the ride when she walked back into my life.  Her friends weren't with her this time.  She came back just to talk to me!  I was at the station for an hour and we talked the entire time.  We talked about everything from cartoons to school to surfing.  She was a surfer and had also just started college back in South Africa.  I was smitten.  And then I got word that it was time for a shift change.  I wanted her to wait a few minutes to see where my next shift was, and I found out that I was actually going on a break.  But when I came back, she was gone.  Out of my life forever.  I hoped I would see her again.  I even took the long, slow walk through the park after my shift, hoping I would run into her.  But it didn't happen.  When I came to work the next day, one of my coworkers said he had something for me.  He told me a girl came by looking for me the night before, but I was already off.  She asked him to give me a bracelet from her.  He was impressed.  I only wish I could have been there when she came back.  I know she lived in South Africa, but who knows what might have been.

I was reminded of this event as I was reading my book.  What if this girl was a pop star in disguise?  What if we had more time to spend together?  What if she was the one and I let her get away?  I've never connected with a girl like that since then, and very few girls, if any, have made an impression on me like she did.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.  I know I shouldn't be living in the past, but I wish I could recapture the confidence and ease that I exhibited that day.  That was part of my Summer of Adam, where I focused on myself and acted on some of my whims, like working at an amusement park.  Maybe I should try that again.

Things Full House Got Wrong, and a Few They Got Right, About Camp

Last night I was watching reruns of Full House (don't judge), and and the episode where the girls come home from Camp Lakota came on.  The episode's official title is "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night".  As some of you may know, camp is a big part of my life.  I have been volunteering for over 10 years with Arizona Camp Sunrise and Sidekicks, a camp for kids who have/had cancer and their siblings.  If you would like more info about Camp Sunrise or want to get involved, please let me know.  Anyway, this episode had me both shaking my head and agreeing with the depiction of camp and the after effects of coming home from camp.  I tried to find the full episode to post for you all to watch, but had no luck.  So I'll just have to do my best to describe and explain what happened.

The episode starts with the girls, DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle, at what has presumably been a sleep away camp for the summer.  It is their last night and they are saying goodbye to friends.  DJ and Kimmy are counselors, and Stephanie and Michelle are campers.  All seems OK at this point, except for the fact that they are saying goodbye before they actually leave the following day.  Are they going to say goodbye again the next day?  Also, I feel like DJ and Kimmy are too young to be counselors at this type of camp.  But maybe they aren't.  Another aspect they got right was Stephanie counting all the friendship bracelets she got from boys.  In my experience friendship bracelets are extremely popular and campers often go home wearing a ton of them.  Good job, Full House.

Here's where things get a little wonky.  First, Michelle has a rabbit.  Not a pet rabbit, but supposedly a wild rabbit that they nursed back to health from a broken leg.  There are so many things wrong with this.  How do any campers know how heal an injured rabbit?  Do they teach veterinary science at this camp?  Also,  how do they know this wild animal isn't carrying any diseases?  What if it bites a camper?  Can you say lawsuit?  Then, Steve, DJ's boyfriend, comes waltzing into the girl's cabin.  To his credit he covers his eyes and announces his presence as a male counselor, but still, he should knock and wait to be asked in.  Then to make matters worse, DJ runs over to him, hugs him, and they kiss!  What?!  No PDA!!!!  No camp romance!!!!  Just, no!!!  That's not OK, unless you want the campers to start making out too.  I don't know any camp that would allow that.  Finally, Kimmy and DJ try to get the campers to go to sleep early on the last night of camp.  Haha, yea right.  When the campers ask why they need a good night of sleep on the last night, the girls respond so the counselors can go party.  While that may be what counselors do on the last night, you don't tell the campers that because then they will want to sneak out and join the party.

The scene does end with a somewhat realistic scary story telling by Steve.  Here's a clip of that part of the scene.

Then, they all go home and things ring pretty true from there.  The girls start telling their family all about the experiences at camp.  Stephanie keeps talking about her friendship bracelets.  Michelle wants Uncle Jessie to start using her camp nickname, Trail Mix.  And so on.  I feel like this is pretty standard for most kids coming home from camp.  They have a lot of stories to tell.  Although, I'm not sure how many of them want to keep their camp nicknames after the fact.  Or maybe just not the weird nicknames I give them.  The girls also start singing camp songs.  This is very accurate.  Camp songs are incredibly hard to get out of your head, especially Baby Shark.

As the girls are unpacking in their rooms, it is revealed that Michelle brought the rabbit home with her.  Two things: first, these girls have way too much energy after a summer at camp.  My experience tells me that they should have come home and passed out.  Second, how does no one know that Michelle still has the rabbit?!  This is why you shouldn't hire 16 year old counselors who are more concerned about making out with their boyfriends.  So now, the girls, along with Steve, who shows up again, decide to drive back up to camp to release the rabbit.  When they get back to camp, it is pouring rain, the car is stuck in the mud, causing Michelle to be afraid of the mud monster, and the rabbit has escaped.  Oh, and the cabin is empty and looks nothing like it did while they were there for camp.  I can attest to the fact that an empty camp is rather sad looking, so I understand the emotion there.  But let's look past the fact that they probably shouldn't be on the camp site unannounced.  Danny and Joey drive up with the rabbit, the rain miraculously stops, and the car is freed.  As usual, there is a heartfelt moment between Danny and the girls, and then they go home and make smores.  And still, the girls don't seem tired.

Now, I realize that this is just a TV show and they take certain liberties with things, but I felt the need to share my thoughts on something that hits so close to home.  Thanks for reading.

I am Bill Johnson from Pleasantville

I had an epiphany this morning as I was laying in bed in that half-awake, half-asleep state.  I was sort of half-dreaming about talking to my coworkers and defending why I was excited to walk across campus for a meeting.  My reasons were that it was something different and got us out of the office and away from doing the same thing every day.  It was at that moment that I shot up and realized that I was Bill Johnson from Pleasantville!

For those who are unfamiliar with the movie, Bill Johnson is the character played by Jeff Daniels.  He is the soda shop owner and operator.  At various points at the beginning of the movie he gets confused because Bud, played by Tobey Maguire, throws off his routines.  So he starts doing things differently and it energizes him.  But ultimately things go back to normal and he gets discouraged because every day is the same thing.

I feel the same way.  Every day is the same.  I get to work, turn on my computer, put in my notes from the day before, and meet with students all day long.  While each student is different, most meetings are pretty much the same.  They tell me about their classes, we look at grades, discuss future assignments, talk about tutoring needs, etc.  It's so monotonous.

Bill eventually explains to Bud that he gets excited for Christmas every year because that's when he gets to paint a mural on the window.  That's exciting.  I also get excited for the holiday season because we have a door decorating contest at work.  That is fun because I get to be creative.  Like Bill, I think it seems silly to look forward to something so meaningless all year, but I don't have many creative outlets at work, so I have to look forward to something.  Really I just want something different from time to time, much like Bill.

And anything that breaks up my day or makes it more exciting is welcome to me.  Even if that means walking across campus in the middle of the day or decorating my door during a non-holiday season.  Additionally, I would love to own and operate a soda shop.  But that's my little comparison to Bill Johnson.  If you haven't seen Pleasantville, you really should.  It's a wonderful movie.

A Glimpse into My Personal Character

Twice in the past two weeks I have had the chance to lie in order to benefit myself.  In both cases I chose not to.  The first instance involved the mileage I had to report to work in order to get reimbursed for driving to Phoenix for a symposium.  Because I stayed in Phoenix for the weekend, my total mileage traveled was a lot higher than what the actual mileage from door to door should have been.  I could have kept it that way and got more money, but it didn't feel right.  That little voice in my head was saying to be truthful.  So I calculated the truthful mileage and submitted that.

And then today, State Farm finally called me in regards to the claim I filed about my water line.  They asked me what happened and I told them exactly what happened.  There was a rock in the ground that was rubbing on the pipe and eventually caused a leak.  The claims adjuster asked how the rock got there, which I thought was odd.  How do rocks get anywhere?  It was just there.  She asked if it anything sudden caused the leak or if any damage to the house was caused.  I could have lied here and said yes knowing that it would help my chances of the claim getting approved.  But once again, the voice in my head said be truthful, so I did.  As much as I would love to get the money back to pay for the repairs, I didn't want to get it by lying.  And, alas, my claim was rejected.

I'm sure some of you are thinking, it's no big deal to tell a lie every now and then.  That's how the world works, after all.  And, maybe you're right.  I can't sit here and tell you that I've never lied.  But there are times when I feel like my lies would go against my character, and that's where I take pause.  These were two instances of that.  I felt like I would be cheating other people by lying and I just couldn't do that.  How can I expect other people to be truthful with me and not cheat me out of something if I don't expect the same of myself?  The answer is, I can't.  I may die broke and alone, but at least I will like myself.  It's important to me to have good character, whether anybody else knows it or not.  Although, I hope people think I do.  Anyway, I decided to share this just to give you all a little glimpse into what makes me tick.  Perhaps, I'll make this a series of posts.

That Seems Like an Odd Place for a Sink

I saw something today that absolutely floored me.  Outside a row of port-a-potties there was a portable sink.  That's right, a sink!  Complete with soap, water, and paper towels.  Now, I know it's not unreasonable to want to wash your hands after using a port-a-potty, but I feel like there are just some times in life when you accept being dirty.  Using a port-a-potty is one of those times.  You go into it knowing that it's gross, but you use it because you have to.  I don't know what the fatality rate from using one is, but it can't be that high.  But now we are so afraid of the germs that might be in one, that we have to put a sink outside?!  When those little hand sanitizer dispensers started showing up near port-a-potties, I could understand that.  But a sink is where I draw the line.

When I was growing up, we didn't have sinks outside of port-a-potties, we were allowed to walk to school and play outside, McDonald's didn't sell salads, and as far as I was concerned everything was organic.  And, you know what?  We all turned out fine.  Well, more or less.  I blame the general lack of common sense on a variety of other things that I will save for another post.

But all of these things seem to be born from fear.  Fear of what, I don't know.  I understand trying to be healthy and take care of your body, but at what cost?  Sometimes we just have to let things be and trust that the world won't kill us for doing so.  Maybe I'm just overreacting to a sink, but it just made me shake my head.

Another Random Stream of Consciousness Post

These are just a few random things that passed through my head this weekend.  Many of them seem to be religiously influenced, but it was Easter weekend, so I'll blame it on that.

First, I was watching an episode of Macgyver and in the episode he was attending his godson's Bar Mitzvah.  This may be completely ignorant of me, but I wasn't aware that Jewish kids had godparents.  That seems like a Christian thing to me, but maybe it's not.  On a side note, I thought Macgyver would make an awesome godfather.  In the same episode one of the scenes looked like it was filmed on the Universal Studios backlot, so I decided to look up online whether any episodes of Macgyver were filmed there and sure enough they were!  I was proud of myself for recognizing that.  Although, maybe it's a little weird that I can recognize parts of the backlot.  But I used to work there so it's OK.  Plus, I love the tram tour, or at least I did when I was younger.  The last time I was there they updated it and took out all the stories I used to love as a kid.  I think I may have written a post about that a while back.  Well that was my Saturday night.  Don't judge.

Today at Easter mass I noticed all the stained glass windows.  Then I started thinking about the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy sees the clues in the stained glass at the church in Venice.  I started to wonder if any of these windows had clues to an ancient treasure or artifact.  I'm not sure what that would be or why anyone would come to Tucson looking for it, but you never know.

Finally, I saw a commercial for one of those websites that buy your old cell phones, and the guy on the commercial had a really big mouth.  It was like 2/3 of his face.  It seemed really unnatural.  I started wondering if it was uncomfortable for him or if he even realizes he has an abnormally large mouth.  Seriously, if you painted him orange he could have been a jack-o-lantern.  That was mean.  I'm sorry, but it bothered me.

OK, I'll stop for now.  I could talk about my weird dream, but I'm still a little disturbed by it.  Let's just say it involved cereal, Paul Revere, Joe DiMaggio, Walgreen's, and Disneyland.  Try and top that.  Although, I have dreamed about Disneyland two nights in a row.  The first dream was awesome.  Last night's not so much.  OK, now I'm really done.

My Top 10 Outkast Songs that You Probably Never Heard on the Radio

Yesterday I wrote about how my love of Outkast developed over the years.  And I mentioned that I wanted to share a list of my favorite lesser known Outkast songs.  So here is that list, in no particular order.

"West Savannah"
I love everything about this song.  The hook, the beat, the verses.  It's smooth and easy to listen to, and a great song to listen to while driving.

"Chonkyfire"
This song hits a little bit harder than "West Savannah" and it is very good.  I love Dre's verse in this song.

"SpottieOttieDopalicious"
A third straight song off Aquemini.  That should tell you something about that album.  It's fricken' great!  This song is easily in my top three favorite Outkast songs of all time.  It is absolutely phenomenal.  And much like the first two songs on this list, I could listen solely to the instrumental version of this song.  In fact, I could probably listen to the instrumental version of the entire Aquemini album and be in heaven.  If only listen to one song in this post, it should be this one.  You won't regret it.

"Grangsta Sh't"
This is a hyped up, angry song.  I love the pace, I love the flow, and I love to blast this in my car.  It's a good song to get me jacked up.

"We Luv Deez Hoez"
I like this song because I think it's funny.  And it has one of my favorite lines in any rap song, "I told you about taking those hoes to the Cheesecake Factory and letting them hoes order strawberry lemonade and popcorn shrimp.  They ain't gonna do nothing but try to get all your mother fuckin' cheese."

"Myintrotoletuknow"
Holy crap, what a power packed two and a half minutes!  This was quite an introduction to the world.  Two young kids announcing their presence with authority.  Twenty years later, this otherwise innocuous song on their debut album is as powerful as ever.

"Funky Ride"
This song is so smooth.  Listening to it will automatically put you in a good mood.

"Claimin' True"
Another song off their debut album.  The flow between Big Boi and Dre on this track is just great.

"Da Art of Storytellin' Part 1"
Another song featuring Outkast at their storytelling best.  And another song off Aquemini.  Be warned, there's a chance this song will absolutely mesmerize you.

"Stankonia (Stanklove)"
I can't really explain why I love this song so much, but I do.  It is absolutely bewitching.

Well, those are my ten, but let me tell you it was not easy to narrow it down to ten.  Remember, these are just songs that were not released as radio singles.  It would be too easy to put "ATLiens" and "So Fresh, So Clean" on a top ten list.  This is my way of recognizing all of Outkast's library.  And as you can see the list is dominated by songs from three albums, most notably Aquemini.  Seriously, it's an amazing album.  I did leave some songs off the list because they were more like solo tracks featured on Outkast albums.  But here's a shout out to "Tomb of the Boom", "Pink and Blue", "Morris Brown", and "Mutron Angel".  They are all great songs that I love listening to and deserve recognition.  And I also want to recognize "Int'l Players Anthem" because it features two of the best verses by Big Boi and Dre, but it isn't an official Outkast song.  Here's a little bonus video for you, though.

I hope you enjoy the list, and the music.  For those of you who are Outkast fans, feel free to share your favorite songs as well.  For those who weren't Outkast fans before, thanks for reading if you made it this far, and hopefully you're willing to give them a listen now.

My History with Outkast

Outkast reunited this weekend to perform at Coachella.  Even though I couldn't be there to see it live, I was able to watch the set on YouTube, and I was very excited to see the return.  I've been a fan of Outkast for almost twenty years.  In my opinion they are the greatest rap duo of all time.  I own every one of their albums, and I will buy anything new they produce in a heartbeat.  Although, to be honest, I really don't think a new Outkast album is going to happen.  So it's a good thing I have their old albums to continue to listen to, because they really never get old.

I was first introduced to Outkast with ATLiens, the song.  Holy crap!  How do you not fall in love with that song?!  It has the catchiest hook and probably one of the most iconic lines in rap history.  ("I'm cooler than a polar bear's toenails.")  Needless to say, I bought the album and loved it.  Then a couple years later Rosa Parks was released and I was blown away again.  I immediately bought the Aquemini album and was not disappointed.  I listened to that album repeatedly for months.

And then Stankonia was released and my mind was blown.  This is what every rap album should aspire to be.  In my mind it was an absolute masterpiece.  My college roommate and I listened to this album on every road trip we took.  It became a ritual and a source of bonding.  We even had inside jokes based on the interludes and lines from certain songs.  My like for Outkast had officially turned into obsession.  I realized I didn't own their first album, Southerplayalisticadillacmuzik, so I bought it and fell in love with another great album.  The thing I love most about Outkast is that every album has its own unique sound.  They experiment with music and always seem to make it work.

Things took a different turn after Stankonia.  They released a greatest hits album featuring a few new songs, including The Whole World.  Then came the double album, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below.  It was basically two solo albums packaged together, and allowed fans to see the different musical stylings of Big Boi and Dre.  It was definitely not my favorite album, but it is still really good, and, to me, plays as so much more than a rap album.  It even won the Grammy Award for Best Album.  I was glad to see Outkast win, even if it wasn't for what I thought was their best album.  Their next album, and to date their last album, was a soundtrack to their movie, Idlewild.  Upon its first release I didn't really like this album.  There were few songs where Big Boi and Dre actually performed together and it was even more musically diverse than what we were used to from Outkast.  I let this album sit for years before giving it another shot.  Once I did, though, I found that I actually liked it a lot more than I initially thought.  It's different in a good way.  And while it will never be my go to album for an Outkast fix, I'm not disappointed when I listen to it.

I still, though, held Stankonia as the gold standard of Outkast albums.  And then I stumbled across this gem of an article on the internet.
Stankoff 2011
It's an Outkast bracket.  And while I don't agree with all of the selections, I can't argue with the champion.  But more than anything else, this article forced me to relisten to my Outkast library.  What I discovered is how great the Southernplayalistic and Aquemini albums are.  (Read tomorrow's post for more specific reasons about my thoughts.)  I seriously started rethinking why I thought Stankonia was their best album.  And right now, I'm not sure it really is anymore.  In fact, I might actually lean towards Aquemini if I had to choose this instant.  Of course, I might also go with Southernplayalistic.  OK, I'm not sure I can really choose at all.

The bottom line is that Outkast has 20 years of powerhouse music, and I've enjoyed being part of the ride.  I was excited to see them reunite on stage after years of solo work.  I wish they were playing a venue closer to me so I could see them live, because I fear this might be the last we see of Outkast.  If it is, I can safely say they have left an indelible mark on the music world.  They are my favorite rap group and I will continue to include them at the top of any playlist.  I was going to include a list of lesser known Outkast songs that everyone should be made aware of, but now that I see the length of this post, I think will save that for a separate post tomorrow.

My Guilty Pleasures - Music

Well, I've covered movies and TV shows and now it's time to look at music.  Let me preface this post by saying that I have a very wide ranging taste in music.  Here is a quick look at a shuffle through my iTunes playlist:
1. Rock the Boat - Aaliyah
2. Run Tha Streetz - 2Pac
3. To Be With You - Mr. Big
4. Love You Down - Ready for the World
5. Just a Friend - Biz Markie
6. Oops... I Did it Again - Britney Spears
7. Shake Your Love - Debbie Gibson
8. Da Art of Storytellin' Part 1 - Outkast
9. Listen to Your Heart - DHT
10. Goodbye - Alicia Keys
11. Heartbreaker - Zapp and Roger
12. Caramel - City High
13. Trapped - 2Pac
14. Thought @ Work - The Roots
15. Bulworth - Method Man, KRS-One, Prodigy, and KAM
16. This Magic Moment - The Drifters
17. Troubles - Alicia Keys
18. The Ghetto - Too Short
19. One Day More - Les Mis
20. Jenifa Taught Me - De La Soul

As you can see it's a lot of hip-hop and R&B, but there's some teen pop and oldies mixed in there, and even a little Broadway.  I could have kept going so you could see more, but that's not what this post is about.  Although, I am a little surprised no Motown songs shuffled in because I have a lot of those.  But let's get to the heart of the matter.  Here are songs/artists that I enjoy that people give me funny looks about or think I shouldn't listen to.

I Want it That Way - Backstreet Boys
When this song first came out I didn't want any part of it, or any boy band song for that matter.  But secretly I thought they were all catchy.  Now that I'm older, I don't care.  I belt this song out in my car all the time.  I even performed it with a few friends.  Check out the video below.



And here's the original

MMMBop - Hanson
I don't care what you think, this song is awesome!  It's fun and catchy and one of the treasures of the 90s.  Don't deny it, you love it too.

Material Girl - Madonna
This is just a fun song to sing along to.  Madonna is generally considered OK for everyone to like, but I tend to get funny looks when I get caught singing along to this song.  Although, maybe it's my singing and not the song itself.

Hold On - Wilson Phillips
Admit it, when you hear this song you crank it up and start singing too.

Any combination of songs by Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
I decided to just combine all of these artists because, well, it makes the point.  I don't really know what to say about this, but I like these artists and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Say My Name - Destiny's Child
I actually like pretty much anything that Beyonce touches, but I chose to single this song out because it's my favorite of hers.  When Beyonce performed at the Super Bowl Halftime show a couple years ago I was actually more excited about the Destiny's Child reunion than the actual game itself.  I might have shared too much there.  Just watch the video and be awed by the awesomeness of the song, and the video.

Chattahoochee - Alan Jackson
I make fun of country music a lot, mostly because I don't like it and don't get it.  But I used to listen to this song when I was a kid and I secretly still like it.  Let's see if any of my country music loving friends call me out on this.

Anything by Mariah Carey
Seriously, she has the most amazing voice.  She's had a few albums that weren't that great, but I'm willing to let that slide due to her overall greatness.  I've never really tried to hide my love for Mariah.  Her songs are awesome, so judge me if you want.  Recently, I've been going back to her early stuff, like this.

As I look through my iTunes library I realize I could go on forever with this list.  I have a lot of weird stuff on there.  The shuffle list doesn't remotely do my library justice.  But I will stop here and let you just soak all this in.  Once again, feel free to share your own guilty pleasures.  Don't worry, I won't judge.